My to-do list is intimidating me today. I went from feeling organized to have it all written down to feeling totally overwhelmed.
Brian Tracy wrote, “When you feel overwhelmed with too much to do and too little time, remind yourself that all you can do is all you can do.”
For the time being, I’m ignoring the list and doing what I want to do (writing blog posts) while I enjoy a cup of coffee. Then I’ll choose the most important thing and do that. Hopefully, these will give me the impetus and motivation to continue…
My scales are still impossibly snide, sneering at my efforts to lose the lard.
Most of the time I’m ‘good,’ only eating what I should. Other times – like in the middle of the night – I could eat the wall and not be satisfied. I’m frustrated and stressed, as we ALL are from time to time for various reasons. I’m trying to deal with that WITHOUT resorting to stuffing my face.
I’m using MyFitnessPal.com to record what I’m eating – except when I binge and all common sense and responsibility goes out the window. I’m 98% ‘there’ on trying to develop good habits of eating, drinking lots of water (my eyeballs are floating), and today is DAY 62 of my daily yoga practice.
98% is pretty good, but it’s the 2% that is killing my efforts. My husband said last night that the pain in my legs and hips at night might be due to my carrying a bit of extra weight. The result of THAT comment is that I can now add a bit of depression to the mix. He followed that up today, on the way back from the phone place, in stopping at Sonic and wanting to get us shakes! I told him to go ahead and managed to NOT get a chocolate shake. I did NOT bite him in the leg. (It’s a good thing because I haven’t had my rabies shot.)
So I’m going to fix our lunch now, drinking a full glass of water with it. I’ll drink a bottle of water mid afternoon, hoping that will curb my voracious appetite, and I’ve planned our good dinner, with lots of veggies, a bit of meat, and some fruit.
With all the awful things happening in our world today, our hearts are ripped out of our chests on a daily basis. Hate seems to reverberate from the walls, causing defensiveness, if not hostility, in return.
We can simply turn off and be numb to all going on around us, or we can LOOK for positive things that help us deal with the bad as well as possible. Being happy is a deep-down choice you make. It comes from within you, recognizing all the good you have around you and filling your heart with it.
When you decide to be happy, it flows outward, affecting those around you. All you have to do to test this is to smile at people you don’t know when you’re out in public. Most of the time, people may look surprised, but they smile back. Not a word has been said, but you’ve communicated and both of you feel better.
This blog is a place where I can share the good things I find with you. I hope that some of it lifts YOUR spirits, too. :0)
August 2022 is almost a thing of the past. Time is whizzing past my head at an astonishing speed and the year will be gone if I blink. I spend too much time being upset at what is going on in the world around me, helpless to do much, if anything, to stop it. I find myself grateful for all the things I have to insulate me from too much grief.
Listening to music, playing in my art room, reading books, talking with friends, gardening and time to myself all help me deal with what is going on around me. If I can’t FIX what’s happening, at least I can make it so I’m not contributing to it. I have more than enough to handle in my OWN little world.
I hope that you, also, have things that help you cope.
To me this means that we should strive to EXPAND our interests, our knowledge, our activities for as long as we are here. We need to actively try to leave our comfort zone, trying something new every once in awhile, meeting new people, finding new sources of information, and more.
I feel lucky that I can learn new things every day simple by being curious on my computer. I enjoy it SO much I have to be careful not to be sucked into a rabbit hole, reading one thing that leads me to another until a good amount of my day is gone.
I don’t want to color with fewer and fewer crayons, allowing my world to gradually implode around me.
I had plenty of time to do my normal chores without rushing. I only had to warm up leftovers for dinner and cut up more ripe, home-grown tomatoes to go with lunch and dinner. I cut up fresh peaches to go with our no-sugar-added vanilla ice cream. I took time to read some of a new book. I listened to some of my favorite music while I ALMOST finished the painting on the Christmas presents I’m making for friends. I played with our dog and cat and laughed with my husband. I did a session of yoga that is starting to be a bit easier. I spent some time searching the net for things I wanted to share with you here.
I didn’t have to travel somewhere to work. I could choose to mainly stay inside in the air conditioning. I took a short nap when I needed to. I had a quiet, calm day.
I’m spoiled. The only saving grace is that I REALIZE it. I’m THANKFUL for it. So, not rotten yet. :0)
My parents were both only children. They had my brother and me so we “could keep each other company,” but then unconsciously fostered intense competition and rivalry between us. The end result was that we were never close, and got the strong idea that our worth depended on what we had accomplished lately and how that compared to each other. We both knew they loved us. That was never a question. But the competition lasted throughout our lives.
My parents wanted us to do well in school. This meant ‘grades’ to them. I learned to value what I had actually LEARNED and the fact that I knew how to learn more throughout my life, but I guess that was the easiest way to measure how we were doing THEN. My brother brought home almost straight A’s throughout his schooling. I brought home a “C” in math one quarter. There was a distinct coldness and withdrawal of affection until the next grading period (9 weeks) when I was able to bring my grade up. When I went to college, earning enough for my first semester each year teaching swimming during the summers from the time I was 14 through the end of college, by brother got a full scholarship to the University of Colorado and was a Rhodes scholarship finalist. He ended up with a doctorate, of course. :0)
I have always felt that my worth depended on what good I had done lately, rather than any idea that I was ‘enough’ just as I was. I was eager to please my parents, and that meant grades, honors, accomplishments. I was eager to please my husband, too, and wasn’t happy unless he was noticing what I was doing. The only area where I dropped the self-doubt was when I was teaching.
I taught in the public schools on the north side of Tulsa OK for eight years. I fell in love with my students. Since my kids there lived pretty tough lives, totally different that I had enjoyed, they didn’t see the need to learn to read or do math, or write, or think. I had to get really ‘creative’ to come up with ways to show them why they would be happier, stronger, and more in control of their lives if they would give me a chance to work with them. Every day I forgot who I was, immersed in trying to take them from where they were, give them what they needed to move forward, and listen to their concerns. I never felt I was ‘enough,’ but I felt good about what I did.
Now that I’m older than dirt, I realize that each person brings a package to the table. Each of us has a different set of skills, hopes, dreams. And each of us is valuable because of it. THAT is enough.
I truly believe that you create your own happiness. That doesn’t mean at all that when bad things happen you should plant a false smile on your face and pretend all is well. I’m talking about a basic decision you make deep inside to lean toward the positive in life and have the happiness come FROM you, rather than merely reacting to what is going on around you.
Remaining curious, learning new things, reaching out are all part of the same basic core idea that it’s your life and your decision how you spend it.
Part of my own personal happiness is discovering yet another talented person – in-person or online – whose gift takes my breath away. I’m so glad to live on the same planet as the people creating beauty in music, art, photography, and countless other media. My biggest regret is that my life is finite and I won’t be able to experience all of the beauty. What a way to go, though! :0)
Life is hard these days. Harder, I think, in many ways, than it’s ever been. Not only are there differing opinions on almost everything, but the opinions quickly escalate into divisiveness, factions, name calling, and hate. There seems little we can DO about any of it.
I find my own personal reactions vacillate from being appalled at the actions of sick, hate-filled people, grieving about the innocent lives lost or forever changed, and frustrated that the problems are caused by problems so complex that they are almost impossible to solve. I’m numbed by the mindless spouting of rhetoric on all sides that hasn’t changed since I was a teenager. The actual problems are so much deeper that people are scared to really examine the causes or possible solutions.
I alternately listen to and read everything I can, then get depressed and avoid exposure to any more news than I HAVE to. I escape with reading, music, time outside in my yard and garden, time in my art room, time on the computer, etc. I get “huggy,” – worried that things will get much worse. I clean things. I re-organize things. I chop things down. Anything I CAN control.
What it boils down to, I guess, is each of us caring, doing something if we can, and coping with whatever is happening. The picture at the top says it better than I – “Life would be better if we wore more tutus…”