Category Archives: Attitude
I love this picture. I identify with it, and yet the sweet little thing makes me smile. Wonderful photography!
I just gritted my teeth, writing down a quick list of what I would like to accomplish today. I didn’t even write down all of it, and I stopped – overwhelmed yet again by the number of things I ‘should’ be doing. And it doesn’t include the fun things I would like to do, like get up to my art room and play. :0(
This reminder by Brian Tracy is going on the side of my file cabinet close to my computer. I’m going to try choosing something I feel is the most important for the day and let that be IT as far as things I ‘should’ do. If I accomplish that one thing, I’ll treat myself to some FUN or RELAXING time. If there is time or energy left after that, it’s gravy.
(At least I’ll TRY to do this.)
WEIGHT: 12.2 pounds down. I have to admit I’m a bit teed off because my husband doesn’t take any responsibility for even thinking about what he’s eating or when, just says, “Thanks” when I bring him the next snack or meal; doesn’t drink the water, doesn’t exercise, and he’s lost more than I have…
MEASUREMENTS: Down 16.3 inches. My husband has no interest in measuring, but he just ordered shorts that are 2 inches smaller in the waist. He put them on this morning and looks GOOD.
I had high blood pressure even with my medication. I’m now showing normal with my meds. “Normal” is such a beautiful word!
My husband is a Type II diabetic. When we started monitoring his blood sugar, it was at around 353 or higher. (Normal is under 100.) This week it was 113!
Each week we’re supposed to have one FLEX meal for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack, preferably on different days. Our flex SNACK is ice cream after bowling with friends on Monday evenings. Our flex LUNCH is Lunch Bunch with long-time friends on Fridays. We usually don’t do the flex BREAKFAST, since my husband likes Nutrisystem’s oatmeal and prefers to just stick with that. Flex DINNER – I’ve broiled a thin steak cut into 2 pieces and we’ve had little bitty baked potatoes. We’ve also shared a small container of chicken fried rice from our local Chinese restaurant.
Yesterday I tried cooking our first flex dinner from the Nutrisystem website. It is called “Meat and Potato Casserole.” It makes 6 servings. We ate two and I froze the other 4 servings in labeled individual dishwasher-and-microwave-safe containers. We found the casserole a little dry, but the flavor was good. We had a salad with it. Today I stopped and got some packets of low sodium brown gravy. The package makes 1 cup – way more than enough for the one tablespoon of gravy I plan to pour over each of the remaining servings when we eat them.
I’m not a wonderful cook. The amount of preparation for this meal seemed like a lot to this lazy woman who would rather do almost anything than spend a bunch of time in the kitchen. I used a food processor as they suggested to prepare the carrots and potatoes, but I think the next time I’ll just use my hand-held shredder because clean up will be a lot easier. It seemed that I had half the kitchen messed up by the time the casserole dish was finally in the oven.
That said, I’m delighted to be able to have recipes at my fingertips to help us stay on the good start we’ve made on losing the lard. To complain when I cooked once and had servings for the two of us for THREE meals is a LOT more “poor me” than any of us need or appreciate…. :0)
All in all a good week’s progress. I’m hoping to get off the plateau I seem to be on, but I’m doing healthy things for us.
Okay. I KNOW that weight loss – particularly as it is reflected by the scales – is a fickle thing. The fact that it’s MORE than yesterday shouldn’t be a big thing. Maybe I retained water. Maybe I gained muscle. Yada yada yada. According to a lot of people, I shouldn’t even be weighing myself every morning – that I should only weigh once a week. Well, I weigh each morning to keep me on track and honest. This morning I weighed MORE than I did yesterday and it’s ‘weighing’ on my mind (hahahahaaha).
It’s one thing to “KNOW” the facts and quite another to deal with the emotional reaction when you hope/expect to be down another .2 lbs and find that you’re actually UP .8 lbs. I feel that ‘someone’ snuck (is that a word?) some lead into my underwear.
Since I also “KNOW” that I ate only what I should have eaten yesterday, did my exercises, drank my water – the poundage may come off tomorrow. Since I’m old, though, I’ve also learned that it may take 4 days or more to get back down to where I was only yesterday…
Since I know, also, that I won’t get any awards for fast weight loss, and that, in fact, my body will actually do better at keeping the weight off if I lose it gradually, steadily – I’m talking to myself this morning, reminding myself of all the things I SHOULD be concentrating on –
- feeling good that I’m down 11 lbs and over 13 inches from when we started Nutrisystem
- that I’m not sitting around feeling hungry
- that I like MOST of the foods we’re eating
- that both my husband and I are getting healthier as we lose the lard
- that our blood test numbers should show significant improvement in August
- that we’re doing what we can to avoid the health problems we can control
- that we’ve both gotten shorts one size smaller than we were wearing a month ago
- feeling grateful that we are in a position to afford a good weight program
Hopefully, tomorrow morning the scales will show me something I like better than what I saw this morning. In the meantime, I’ll continue talking to myself, trying to act like a grownup. :0)
My dad had a great sense of humor and he was kind enough to give it to me in a lot of different forms – stories, jokes, puns, sarcasm. He taught me to stand back and look at things as if it were a movie. Many times, when you do this, you are able to see the humor in the situation.
He also used laughter as a defense. When he was 3, he fell off a horse, breaking his arm so badly that the doctors barely saved it. The result was a left arm much shorter than his right and a curled up, essentially useless hand. When kids at school bullied him, he made them laugh. They decided they liked him and wanted to be around him, so the bullying stopped. This ability served him well his whole life, allowing him to get married, have two kids, provide for everyone using his humor and talent to create radio commercials for his clients. He won an Addy Award for lifetime achievement in Tulsa. When he died, he scrawled on a piece of paper, “Remember me laughing.”
He gave us love and a priceless tool for handling many of the tough things in life. I can’t count the number of times that being able to see and share the humor in a situation has helped me – plus those dealing with me.
This morning is a good example of how being able to see the humor has saved my husband and our marriage! We were upstairs trying to program our ‘smart’ thermostat to cool down in the evening before we go to bed, keep it cool while we sleep, and then turn off during the day. The idea is that you set the time and day of the week, then start with day 1, setting heat and cool for each ‘period’ of the day – morn, day, afternoon, and evening with temp for heat and then for cool. When you finish one day’s programming, you can then copy it to all the other days and then get out of programming mode, setting it to ‘cool’ or ‘heat.’
We have just tried to do this four times, laboriously going through the long list of directions. When we finish, we get out of the programming mode, putting it to ‘cool.’ And it immediately turns on the a/c and starts to cool it down. WRONG! Plus – the ‘prog’ mode indicator is flashing. We don’t know if the thermostat is messed up or we’re having a serious case of user stupidity or what. We started getting really frustrated and angry, and then I was able to stand back and look at the two senior citizens – frustrated and angry – arguing over the thermostat being smarter than we were, and I started to laugh. When my husband asked, ‘what the hell are you laughing about?” I laughed even harder. Finally, he started to laugh, too. It diffused the situation – even though it’s still true that the thermostat is smarter than we are. We have now called and left a message with our go-to guy on heat and cooling…
I lost another pound yesterday, so I’m down 10.6 officially since we started Nutrisystem, and 32.6 lbs down since my lardiest. I have a long way to go, but I’m feeling good that we have a good start now.
My husband doesn’t have much weight to lose, but he is diabetic and his blood sugar numbers have been a real challenge for about two years now. His sugar was off the chart. He had double vision and pain in his feet. He is now registering the lowest numbers we’ve seen since we’ve been monitoring AND he gets to eat fruit again! He really looks forward to his SMARTCARB snack of an orange or an apple, since it’s been two years since he could enjoy them. He also likes to have some blackberries on his cereal on FLEX BREAKFAST day. His attitude about Nutrisystem is good, and for that I’m truly grateful.
“I” am the one who really needs this program for weight loss. Several years back my thyroid was completely radiated away due to Grave’s Disease. A couple of years ago I said goodbye to my gallbladder, which then made the low-carb diet we were trying to follow a challenge, because my body had trouble handling the fat. My blood pressure is a problem, and triglycerides are high, so I’m hoping that getting the lard off and eating healthy will make my doctor realize I’m serious at our next regular appointment in August.
We both are calmer about portions since we know we’ll eat again in 3 hours. Neither of us has been hungry. My appetite has always been voracious – when we were dating my husband would say, “We need to get you something to eat!” his code for me being ‘snappy.’ My husband said last night, “I don’t see any reason we can’t stay on this plan as long as you want to.”
We quit several years ago because Nutrisystem kept doing away with the choices my husband liked. Finally, he was so upset we had to stop. Now they have SO many more choices – also adding frozen choices – that it will take us several months before we have tried everything. We like the fact they let you know when the deadline is for making changes for our programs, and that we can make changes any time we like up until then.
SO – a Good Start on getting healthier!
Do you realize that May is almost over? We just started 2018 and it’s almost half gone! What happened? Where did all the days go?
My husband has always told me – usually when I’m complaining about having too much on my to-do list – that “if you’re busy, you’re happy – and the days go flying by.”
We have been retired for quite a while now, and we honestly don’t know how we managed to work full-time most of our lives. The day starts and it’s over. The year starts and it’s over. We move from one thing to the next, enjoying living our lives, and the time passing makes our hair blow.
I honestly have trouble understanding boredom. I’ve been so lucky to always have WAY more to do than I have the time or energy. And mostly, I love what I’m doing. How’s THAT for a nice life?
I never expected that my husband and I would create ‘critters’ out of metal. We have trouble now finding scrap metal, since the junk yards and metal places are saddled with liability issues in letting people wander around finding treasures in the piles, but occasionally we find old small propane tanks and old farm implements, etc., and a critter is born.
This is a sample of a critter made from scrap metal. He weighs a TON (or seemed to when we were trying to hang him on this tree at the top of our driveway.) All of our critters are one-of-a-kind, since we can’t ever find the same scraps, but we really enjoy seeing a ‘critter’ emerge from pieces we find. Some of our biggest disagreements now are about what to make, how to make it, and what colors to use to paint it. :0)
We also love making metal decorations for our mailbox at the bottom of the driveway.
This Calvin & Hobbes decorations is one of my favorites.
We make stained glass and mosaic pieces when we can make the time.
We have a raised bed square foot garden where I’m trying to raise a bunch of our own salad stuff, as well as tomatoes. We built a greenhouse last year and I’m experimenting, trying to lengthen our growing season. We built brick planters – 14 of them – all around our yard so that we can enjoy flowers as much of the year as possible.
My husband is trying now to record our DVD collection onto a special bunch of equipment. If he’s successful, he wants me to sell most of the physical collection. This is a big project, and will take some time.
I’m trying to go through our 30-year-old + home, purging/giving away/throwing away/cleaning/reorganizing. I do this every 30 years, so I’m hip deep or more in ‘stuff’ right now.
You get the picture. We’re happy as clams, busy as bees (and any other cliché’s you can think of) to describe two people loving life and loving living it together. The days, weeks, months and years whiz past our heads – going faster and faster as we get longer in the tooth….
I tend to live in my comfort zone. I feel sure of myself and I like feeling that I’m in ‘control,’ even though I ‘realize’ that is delusion.
I feel good about myself when I step out of it, though – when I learn something new that is empowering.
Example: Since my husband is really good on computers and is finishing getting my new computer to work the way I want it to, I tend to be lazy and ask him how to do things, rather than figure it out for myself ( a VERY time-consuming, frustrating thing for someone the complete opposite of a computer/electronics nerd.) My husband tries to be patient when I ask him something, but it’s hard for both of us. He wants me to be specific, telling him exactly what I need in the proper terminology. (If I knew the proper terminology for my problem, I probably wouldn’t have the problem!)
I was trying to find some files on my computer. I tried to explain what I needed. The more I tried, the worse it got. Finally, we were totally frustrated with each other and gave up.
THAT’s when I stepped out of my comfort zone and actually started learning. After a LOT of flailing around, grinding of teeth, and more than a few bad words and tears, I managed to FIND the information I needed for my insurance detailing project – both the information that is on what I’m now calling the ‘old DVD’ and the spreadsheet on which I’ve started detailing what we own, what we paid, making sure we have a pic, etc. (including our first grade report card, thumb print, and….
When we talked about it later, I calmly told him I had found what I needed and had relocated them so I wouldn’t have trouble next time. He tried not to show it, but I THINK he was a bit disappointed that I didn’t need help on this anymore.
I stepped out of my comfort zone and now feel empowered – until the next time.
Complicated answer, depending on which part of you is answering –
Sometimes I feel like an old soul, my HEART feeling as if I’ve always been here soaking up emotions and feelings, personal memories and those of others I’ve known.
My MIND feels about 30 – young enough to want to experience new things, acquire new skills, read all I can, play in my art room, work in my garden or flower planters, play with our dogs, hug my husband fiercely – while having had enough experience to consider more wisely (I hope!)
At times my EMOTIONS feel as if I’m a young child – scared when I’m not sure I can handle something or I’m dealing with a worrisome thing totally out of my depth. Other times I feel very young when I’m captivated by a new thing that brings me joy, or I feel newly empowered by something I was unable to do yesterday. I get so excited it’s hard to ‘tame down’ my enthusiasm. I find it hard to sit still and have to contain my actions to grinning from ear to ear – and maybe cheering a bit. :0)
My BODY brings me back to the reality of how old I actually am. It feels pretty good right now, after a day of rest from what we consider ‘heavy labor’ around here. Other days it tells me I’m old and creaky, stiff and sore, telling me I need stretching, exercise, ice/heat, and a nap.
Any day you think about it, your answer is different, depending on which part of you is feeling the most dominant at that moment.
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? – Satchel Paige
- After Week 3 on Nutrisystem: 7.6 lbs
- Total Weight Loss since my Lardiest: 20 lbs.
- After Week 3 of Nutrisystem: 9.8 inches
- Total since my worst wideness: 26.2 inches
My husband has lost weight and his blood sugar numbers are looking a LOT better! (I’m trying not to invade his privacy by printing numbers, but I’m really happy for him.)
- I’m trying to do 15+ minutes on the Elliptical Trainer each day.
- Yoga – 30 minutes of stretching daily
- Weight exercise for neck/shoulder problem
- Over-the-door shoulder pulley – 5 minutes daily of pulling
- Ice/heat daily, 15 minutes each for neck/shoulder problem
- Serious Intention to get up and move more, such as taking break from computer, walking out to shop or garden, then out to greenhouse, sweep garden, clean something, organization effort, etc. several times per day.
- I’m happy that I have ‘new, smaller shorts’ on this week’s list!
- I’m having fewer instances of having to take a serious nap in the afternoon. I haven’t gotten any younger, so it has to be I’m feeling more energy due to my new eating regimen. :0)
- I’m feeling more in control of our food now. I keep an eye on the clock so that we remember our mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks, but the rest is becoming more routine.
- We’re eating more veggies – celery, carrots, cherry tomatoes and radishes with a bit of salad dressing with our lunch, and a salad with spinach, romaine, and head lettuce from our own garden with our dinner.
- We don’t have the feeling hungry sensation. Though we’ll be happy to finish the first month’s supply of food (choices we’ve changed in the next order) we’re feeling generally happy with our food. We’ve found some favorites, such as their orange cream bar as a before bed snack!
- We’ve cooked one dinner, eaten lunch out, and fixed our own breakfast, and had a snack NOT on the program this week (Flex Meals), learning how to function in the real world, learning to judge portions, and more.
- I bagged up the food left from the first order in gallon freezer bags. We got my new group of frozen food yesterday and my husband’s this morning, and we were able to quickly put both away, keeping everything straight. :0) Now waiting for NON-frozen boxes.
Week 3 has been a success. I’m feeling motivated and happy to be getting less of me!
I was born worrying.
I really didn’t believe this quote for most of my life, thinking I could forestall all kinds of bad things by cautioning those I loved and then worrying until the perceived danger was over -as if I had control. It has taken me a long time to stop this – for the most part.
The newest worry was when my husband went to an auction in the next state over from us recently. I did help him prepare, making him take his phone and programming the GPS with the address, in case it was one of those places that was really hard to find.
He called me while I was in the kitchen cleaning the floor, I guess, because I didn’t hear the phone ring. (He calls ‘home’ rather than calling me on my cell.) I played the message on the answering machine, but the ONLY thing I got was that it was my husband. It was so garbled that, after playing the message over and over and not being able to understand any of it, I erased it. I then called him back, only to get the message he was unavailable and to leave a message. I told him I got his call, but the message was garbled and to call me back. Over the next hour or so I called and left more messages. He didn’t call.
I was to the point I was imagining that he had been arrested and his one phone call had been so garbled I couldn’t do what he needed me to do, like call a lawyer, come to the station where he was being held, etc. I also imagined was a car wreck and worse, since he hadn’t called me back.
I was a basket case by the time I heard the driveway detector. I ran out to find him pulling into the garage, safe and sound. I asked him – quite calmly, I thought – why he hadn’t returned my messages. He looked bewildered, then checked his phone, seeing the umpteen messages on it. We checked his settings and it was set essentially on “O” volume and no vibrator. :0(
The whole point of this is to admit I haven’t given up worrying altogether, although I notice our son responding on the chat program with, “Don’t worry” more than I would like. I realize I can’t stop bad things from happening, although I may be over-the-top on “preparation” now…
As I said, I was born worrying.
I have trouble understanding why people don’t vote. Turnout is especially low in primaries, and I’ve come to think those are the most important of all. I’ve complained for years that I’m not for EITHER candidate in election after election, but it’s my own fault if I don’t help determine who is in the final election.
I’m particularly happy that Arkansas allows us plenty of time to vote before we have to stand in long lines. This year I think we may have two full weeks to drop by City Hall whenever the mood strikes us and it’s convenient to vote. How civilized is that! And the process used makes me feel secure that there is little – if any – fraud here. You have to have a photo ID to vote. You show it to the lady, she finds your information on her computer. You have to provide your address, your birth date and sign the screen, which is then compared to the signature on file from when you registered. I think it would be pretty difficult for someone to try to look like me, know all my information, and be able to produce a signature close enough to the one on file to qualify as ‘me.’ Then, after we’ve used the touch screen to choose the candidates, it shows you a summary of what you’ve input for you to okay, and then a printed ballot is produced by the machine. You verify that and then personally feed it into a machine. The printed ballots are available in case of any question.
This year I was unfamiliar with most of the candidates, so I spent part of two days looking up each candidate on the Internet, so at least I could compare credentials and background. Some candidates I dismissed because they gave all the standard answers. I call these ‘old political hacks’ whether they’ve held office or not. I’m looking for new blood, new ideas, thinking-outside-the-box people. Sometimes both or all of the candidates seemed qualified. Then I simply chose who appealed to me more for some reason.
I still cringe when I think of a wonderful friend of mine here in Arkansas, now passed, who, when she started talking about the mayoral race for Greenwood, readily told me who she voted for. When I asked her why she liked that candidate, she replied, “He’s some kind of kin to Cecil.” (her husband). And she voted every election – I assume with the same reasoning.
Whatever your political affiliation, I urge you to cast your vote. Each of us has a voice. It’s important that we study the candidates carefully and support those who we think would do the best job for our town, our state, and our country.
“As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning.”
— Criss Jami
We started Nutrisystem on Thursday of this week, the 26th. So far I’ve lost 3.6 lbs.
The Nutrisystem people stress that you shouldn’t weigh yourself every day. They suggest once a week. I’ve always weighed myself every day, though, and I need the feedback that I’m going in the right direction, or at least staying reasonably steady. Even though this is just water loss, I feel happy that I have a good start. I have a long way to go, but losing weight is a great thing to be doing with my time each day. :0)
They also stress not to do any exercise the first week. Well, that’s all well and good, but I’m getting lots of exercise getting up to go to the bathroom all day (and many times at night, too.) Plus, life goes on, and I need to get things accomplished around here; so, no formal exercise until next week, but I HAVE been being active.
Example – since winter FINALLY seems to be over, we took the snow tires off the Honda Ridgeline yesterday and put the regular tires on. This is a laborious project, but after doing it twice a year for several years now, we have it almost down to a science. My husband does the heavy stuff, like getting the tires onto the “wheel studs.” (I just had to ask my husband what was the actual name for those. I hate to call everything ‘thingies.’) I’m a pretty good go-fer – rolling the snow tires out of the way, rolling the regular tire over to my husband, handing him the wheel nuts, bringing him tools, putting things away, etc. It takes us about half an hour now, when the first time it took us twice that.
I also planted a 6-pack of tomato plants and several squares of radishes yesterday. Since we don’t have our irrigation system going yet, later I got a hose hooked up and watered them. I rolled up our big fireplace rug and stored it under the stairs in a storage place and then vacuumed the living room, foyer, and office. The big thing yesterday was washing the two large dog bed covers, airing out the innards, then putting everything back together.
Add to that setting a timer so that we stay on our program for the day, eating every 3 hours, and you have much of our day yesterday.
My attitude is better since we’re finally on the road again to getting the lard off. I’m hopeful that as the extra weight comes off, we’ll feel better and better.
Our frozen stuff was just delivered by Fedex. It was nicely packed in large styrofoam coolers with dry ice, the whole cooler shrink-wrapped and clearly labeled whose was whose.
We have just finished putting things away. It turned out that our frozen snacks went into the freezer in the pantry. Mine fit in one gallon sized ziplock bag, so I didn’t have to mark anything. Of the three trays I had cleaned out in the chest type freezer in the garage, my husband’s frozen stuff filled two of them to the brim. I put some of my stuff in the third tray, and put others in gallon ziplock bags. It’s really clear whose stuff is whose, so I didn’t have to mark those, either. :0)
Today is our last hurrah of ‘free eating.’ I’m not sure how we’ll spend it.
Tomorrow morning will start the first day of our Nutrisystem plans.
Any time you change your eating habits violently, there will be snags. We have Lunch Bunch Friday. I’ll go to visit with my friends and have a glass of water, opting to religiously stay on the program until I get a ‘flex meal’ NEXT week. My husband has opted to get his regular chicken fingers for Lunch Bunch. One meal off the plan in the first week won’t be the end of the world. He has agreed to do this, so I’ll work on getting him to go with the program as much as possible.
Tomorrow I’ll make us a salad bowl – two cups each for each of us , so all we have to do is dip out the servings when it’s time to eat lunch or dinner. I’ll also plan to serve us a cup each of broccoli with our dinner. (A serving is one cup of raw non-starchy veggies or 1/2 cup of cooked veggies, so this will be our 4 servings for the day.)
“Here is a quick glance at what you’ll eat during your first week on Nutrisystem:*
- Nutrisystem Breakfast from Turbo Takeoff Box (Husband chooses from his stash)
- TurboShake (for women) or Nutri-Pro Shakes (for men)
- Nutrisystem Lunch from Turbo Takeoff Box (husband chooses from his stash)
- NutriCurb Bar
- Nutrisystem Dinner from Turbo Takeoff Box (husband chooses from his stash)
- At least four servings of non-starchy veggies and 64 ounces of water throughout the day
(Exercise is taken care of from drinking the 64 (at least) oz of water each day. Our eyeballs will be swimming, and we’ll be running to the bathroom a lot. :0)”
I hope that you are finding ways to take good care of yourself. Hopefully, this will be the start of our getting the lard off, moving more, and feeling better and better.
I am SLOWLY making progress on figuring out how to do things on my new PC. My husband is very happy that I’ve made the switch, since he can try to help me now. Since he’s a computer analyst, it’s only smart to have an in-house guru to help you when things aren’t working as they should.
I’m making a list of things that I want him to look at, explain how to do, or FIX – if possible – as I stumble onto them.
I’ve discovered that my reaction to not being able to figure things out is out of proportion to the problem. In a nutshell, I’m almost bald now, my throat is sore from yelling, and the air is blue from my bad words…..
I am determined to learn how to do what I want to do and overcome the problems I’m having. It’s a waste of energy to want to eat the keyboard, throw the computer and all its parts out the window, and go out to the front yard to shriek over and over, so I’m trying to remain CALM and handle this in a more GRACIOUS manner.
So far, my husband is at a loss as to why MY pop-up screen for Password Safe is different from his, and that ‘I’ have to do 80 steps to figure out what a password is when it used to be easy. Did I mention I’m also gnashing my teeth?
This WILL get better. I’m actually taking breaks now and going to CLEAN something. THAT’S how frustrating this is!
Our son wrote to tell us that an “American tourist” had stolen all of the donation money from the donation box in a temple in Chiang Mai, Thailand recently. They had a picture of the man inside the temple, but hadn’t apprehended him. Our son has always tried to overcome the bad image of American tourists in whatever country he is in. He tries to learn their language and speak to them. He tries to be kind and thoughtful of the culture and the people. He is angry and embarrassed that the behavior of Americans abroad has been so rude, thoughtless, downright crude, and even – to THIS news – criminal.
This feeling of being upset at the behavior of others reflecting on him goes back to when he was a young toddler. We would take him to a restaurant and someone would come over to our table and say something like, “We are SO impressed by the behavior of your son! He’s been a real little gentleman.” We would thank them and they would leave. Our son’s face would turn red as he said, “Other kids are giving me a bad name. They make it so that all people expect ME to act bad.” We told him that we understood his feelings, but that the only thing he could control was how HE acted. It didn’t seem to help much.
He told us he made a donation to the temple that was robbed.