Lesson Learned

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I’ve told you I haven’t been feeling sassy lately. I had routine blood work done and was surprised to see that one of my thyroid tests was really high – and that’s bad because I don’t HAVE a thyroid anymore.

I talked to our doctor yesterday. One of the routine things we do every six months is review what meds we’re taking. I take a list, and had added the two meds I’ve added lately to try to get my digestion back under control.

It turned out that the two over-the-counter meds I’ve added may have been helping my digestion problems, but the fact that I take my pills together in the morning was sabotaging my thyroid hormone medication, making it so my system didn’t absorb it. So it was like I haven’t been taking ANY thyroid medicine for about 3 weeks. GREAT.

It never occurred to me. Once I saw that my test was high, it clicked that some other symptoms I’ve been having were associated with my thyroid dosage being off.

I have now learned –

• Next time I’m having a problem for which I’m considering taking new meds, I should check with my good doctor through the portal they provide.
• I should be taking my thyroid med first thing, then giving it an hour or so before I eat or take anything else
• that OTC meds are more serious than I have thought and may interact with other meds to my detriment. DUH.

I’m lucky to have a good, patient primary doctor who takes the time to listen and has the smarts to figure out what I’ve done to myself and how to fix it.

Wonderful Teacher

A student was bullied for so long that his teacher finally decided to do something completely crazy.

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There was recently a news story about an 8-year-old boy who was horribly harassed for wearing a red backpack with a pony on it. Stories of children getting bullied or harassed are pretty common and it seems like a lot of schools either ignore it or just don’t really know how to handle it. But there are some positive cases out there. A really nice story about a teacher who found a way to teach his students a little something about interpersonal relations has been circulating around the internet recently:

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“I decided to stop by the store this morning and buy a couple apples. During our morning meeting (where we sit in a circle and do spiral lessons), I told my class we were going to try something different and I showed them my two apples and asked them to list the differences and similarities between the two apples. They were both exactly the same color and shape… one was a little brighter and bigger, but that was literally the only difference.

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Then I held up the other apple that was only slightly discolored and smaller and I said, “Gross. This apple looks disgusting!” and dropped it on the ground. My kids all looked at me like I was INSANE! A couple laughed uncomfortably, but for the most part they thought I had lost my mind.

I then picked it up and passed it to the student sitting beside me and said, “Isn’t this apple just stupid?! You should say something mean to it and do this!” Again I modeled dropping it in front of me. “Now pass it to the person next to you so they can say something mean to the apple, too!”

Long story short, my kids got very into saying mean and hurtful things to this apple and dropping it in front of them. “I hate your skin.” “You’re an ugly color red.” ”Your stem isn’t very long.” ”You’re probably full of worms.” and on and on and on…

So, by the time this little apple made it back to me everyone had had a chance to really rip this little guy apart. I seriously started feeling sympathetic towards an inanimate object… but moving on… I held both of the apples up for my kids to look at and asked them to now list the similarities and differences between the apples again… It came back the same… There really was no difference. Even after they had repeatedly dropped this apple you couldn’t really tell that it had any damage.

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I took out a cutting board and knife and proceeded to cut the shiny apple open. It was perfect. And all my kids ooooh’d and ahhhh’d…

Then I cut open the second one and when I opened it, it was covered in mushy brown spots and completely bruised inside from where we dropped it. When I held it up my kids were like, “EWWWWW. I don’t want to eat THAT apple! Yuck! That looks disgusting…”

That’s when I just looked at them and said, “But didn’t we all contribute to the apple looking this way?! We did this… why shouldn’t we eat it?” They all just kind of stopped and got really quiet and I continued, “See guys… this is what we do to other people when we say mean and hurtful things. When we gossip or call someone ugly or fat or tell them they aren’t good enough or that they can’t be friends with us… we are just dropping them and causing ONE MORE bruise… a bruise that may not appear on the outside is VERY REAL and can be very destructive inside of them! It doesn’t just go away, the bruises just keep getting worse and deeper… THIS!” I said as I held up the bruised apple, “is what we do to each other. We have to stop dropping each other.”

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I’ve never seen my kids ”get” something so fast before. It was so real to them… people cried and laughed and it was very emotional but absolutely amazing and they got to journal about everything and some of the responses I got… well, I sobbed all the way through lunch. I had so many kids come up and hug me later and tell me that they were so happy that a teacher “got it.””

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Bullying is a ubiquitous and timeless phenomenon. It is a problem that is often over parents and teachers’ heads. Maybe this teacher’s lesson will start some meaningful conversations in schools. In any case, it is an important message to share.

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My New Mantra

Positive Energy via Michael Remillard

I’m older than dirt and I have yet to even come CLOSE to doing this.

I have always admired people who calmly decide what is necessary in any given situation and do it.

I am TRYING to repeat this every day in an effort to FINALLY be able to remain calm and function like a normal human being with more than one brain cell before I croak.

Example – Years ago, my husband and I lived in Tulsa, enjoying our very first house. Our property had a garage apartment that we rented out, happy for the extra income.  I came home from my job as a teacher one day to find smoke coming from the garage apartment. Like a complete ditz, I called my mother before calling the fire department!

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My mom was stopped by a policeman on her way to our house. The cop said, “Where’s the fire, Lady?”  My mom, answered, “At my daughter’s house!”  He waved her on without giving her a ticket.

The two renters had renter’s insurance, our insurance enabled us to rebuild the garage apartment, and I was able to handle all the details of that without problem.

If you have a similar problem, feel free to print the image in this as your reminder (as I have) and say with me, “One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm.”

We’re Supposed to be Smarter than our Dog

Let me preface this tale with the fact that my husband and I agree on very little. We didn’t even use the same salt, when we still used it. So it was no surprise that while on errands today, we disagreed on the idea of bringing Amber out of the car on her no-pull collar and leash in public.

Amber weighs 94 lbs. To say she is exuberant about meeting others is a vast understatement. She loves to go anywhere at any time in the car with us. Her domain is the back seat. We put the windows down halfway so that she can run from one side of the car seat to the other sticking her head out, absorbing all the wonderful smells and sights to be had.

Today we stopped at a small craft type show that was being held on the square. I didn’t realize that my husband was planning to bring Amber out. The shock collar did its job, giving Amber a jolt when she tried to get to a little girl to say “hi.” Amber cried out and everyone stopped as if someone had dropped a whole tray of something in a restaurant. Amber was in control for a second, then found someone else she thought was wonderful. She was shocked again, cried out again, and I had had enough. I finally got my husband to put Amber back into the car. I answered some questions about the collar. People were upset at us because Amber cried out. I tried to explain that usually Amber is trained to stay in step with us and hardly EVER gets shocked anymore – but this was a new situation with far too many stimulants for a partially-trained puppy to handle.

We turned into the street that goes to our home. My husband saw a sign about a yard sale that was being held down the road from our home. I thought we would leave Amber in the car and just be there a very short time. I turned to see my husband with Amber out, on the collar again. I told him I thought there were too many people, little children, plus a little dog, and that Amber might knock something off a table. My husband said I didn’t want him to do anything.

I got angry and went back to the truck. The next thing I knew my husband was on the ground face first, and others were trying to control Amber. I leaped out of the car, grabbed Amber’s leash, which wasn’t working for some reason. A man helped me get her back into the car while someone else brought a rag to wipe my husband’s face. I drove everyone home.

My husband is okay. He looks as if he were in a bar fight and lost. The whole side of his face is scraped and quite red. Amber is fine, too. We figured out why the collar didn’t work at the yard sale. I have promised to practice with Amber, the special collar, and leash in the yard. Then I have proposed we go to the square or one of the walking trails to see how Amber handles that. My husband says I’m wrong and that I don’t want Amber out in public at all.

And so it goes. Part of the reason we are still married is that, though we drive each other nuts at times, we are totally addicted to each other – flaws and all. We will finally come to a bit of compromise on this, as we always do, but the process always seems to be a painful one, with each of us thinking we are right.

Happy

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Dinosaur

Rosie made a Thing – via The Hippies were Right via Stephanie Youmans Wilson

Just in case you were wondering – my favorite dinosaur is a Stegosaurus, though I’ve never met one personally. :0)

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Since I’m older than dirt, I FEEL like a dinosaur for many reasons –

The one that hits me in the face the most often is that good manners, common courtesy, good communication, and doing what you say you’ll do when you said you would do it have gone the way of the dinosaurs. It saddens me that I’m AMAZED when someone treats me the way I try to treat everyone.

One example of what I consider ‘old world style’ customer service is when we got covers for our gutters recently. I got three prospects for people who would install the covers. One never bothered to call back. Two called and came. One of the companies was really nice, but we couldn’t afford their services. The other was trying to make a ‘one time rush deal,’ so I blew him off. I decided to try to get an estimate for just cleaning out our gutters. I lucked into Edwards Gutter Cleaning in Fort Smith, AR. 

He came out and looked at things. He asked if I would like him to install covers after he got the gutters cleaned out. We talked and I discovered that he did almost anything outside. I asked him if he could saw off the large branch that had broken off a tree at the bottom of our driveway. He gave me an estimate for all of this, coming in at 1/3 the price of the highest estimate. We agreed on a time and the amount of money. He actually gave me a time he would come. When he was delayed, he called me and asked if it were all right if he came an hour later. He discovered while cleaning out the gutters that we already HAD some covers on some of the gutters and that they were still good. We needed covers for the rest and so he revised the cost downward! He worked his head off with his partner, did everything he said he would do, cleaned up, etc.

I thanked him profusely for treating me so well, and that I hoped he would get rich because of working hard, treating his customers like real, valued people, and doing what he said he would do and more. I gave him a really good review on Home Advisor. He actually called me last week to be sure I was still happy with his work, asking if I needed anything now.

In this day and age, this kind of service doesn’t happen. We lucked into his wonderful guy and will definitely call him first when we have something we need done outside.

I still feel like a dinosaur, holding on to what I consider ‘basic courtesy,’ when I’m shown over and over that I’m’ behind the times and things don’t work that way anymore.’

 

 

The Bottom Line

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Life Lesson

Walmart

I always buy ‘el cheapo’ mens’ digital watches at Wal-Mart. I can see them better – and that’s the whole point as far as I’m concerned – and I don’t have to slit my throat if I mess one up.

I learned a life lesson after watching fireworks from our deck Wednesday night – DON’T spray your watch with Deep Woods Off!

I didn’t notice I had a problem until Thursday morning when I started to put my watch on. It was smeary with the residue of the Off. I got a Kleenex and wiped it off, but then the smear turned to sticky, awful STUFF. I took the watch downstairs and used Goo Gone on it. That helped some, but not enough. I followed that with a bit of Windex on a Kleenex and voila! the face of my digital watch was SO messed up I couldn’t see through it. I tried other things, but to no avail.

When we went shopping later in the day, I got another watch, much like the one above, so I’m fixed again until the NEXT time I learn a life lesson.

Marriage Box

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Embarrassment

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Our son wrote to tell us that an “American tourist” had stolen all of the donation money from the donation box in a temple in Chiang Mai, Thailand recently. They had a picture of the man inside the temple, but hadn’t apprehended him.  Our son has always tried to overcome the bad image of American tourists in whatever country he is in. He tries to learn their language and speak to them. He tries to be kind and thoughtful of the culture and the people. He is angry and embarrassed that the behavior of Americans abroad has been so rude, thoughtless, downright crude, and even – to THIS news – criminal.

This feeling of being upset at the behavior of others reflecting on him goes back to when he was a young toddler. We would take him to a restaurant and someone would come over to our table and say something like, “We are SO impressed by the behavior of your son! He’s been a real little gentleman.” We would thank them and they would leave. Our son’s face would turn red as he said, “Other kids are giving me a bad name. They make it so that all people expect ME to act bad.” We told him that we understood his feelings, but that the only thing he could control was how HE acted. It didn’t seem to help much.

He told us he made a donation to the temple that was robbed.

Any Time You Can

Max Eastman via sayingimages.com

“A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” ~ Hugh Sidey

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” ~ Mark Twain

I don’t know why, but I’m thinking of my dad today.

Part of his life was hard. He fell off a horse when he was three and busted his arm in three places. Back then, the doctors did the best they could, but his left arm was much shorter than his right, curved, and his hand almost useless. He was teased about it in school. He felt bad because they wouldn’t accept him to serve in the military because of it. He learned to use humor as a way to break through people’s initial reaction to his arm. In fact, there were whole patches of time I would forget that others might consider him ‘handicapped.’ He learned to use his humor and wit to make his living- carving out a space writing radio advertising spots. He billed himself as the second worst radio voice in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He went from barely making a living to never having to look for clients again, winning Addy awards – plus a silver one for “Lifetime Achievement.”

He couldn’t control his alcohol consumption and smoked heavily, ending up an alcoholic with emphysema. He joined Alcoholics Anonymous. He learned to carry an oxygen tank.vHe still kept his sense of humor, drawing cartoon drawings of himself, making others laugh. He taught my brother and me to appreciate humor – puns, jokes of all sorts, funny stories, funny situations, sarcasm, and to practice the ability to stand back and look at things, trying to see the funny side. This has been a lifesaver for me.

When he died, he wrote on a scrap of paper, “Remember me laughing.” And I do. I remember him telling stories, laughing so helplessly he could hardly finish. He and the lucky people listening would all be exhausted when he finished – stomachs hurting from laughing, cheeks hurting from smiling so hard – at the stories, but also enjoying the joy we all experienced as he told them.

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” ~ Charlie Chaplin

“I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can.” ~ Linda Ellerbee

Cures

Irish Proverb – Schultz – Peanuts – via Email from Bill Lites

Are We Training HER or OURSELVES?

We’re slow learners, but we finally got the message – Amber cannot be trusted to go outside by herself until further notice. We also learned that we have to watch her like a hawk in the HOUSE, too, as she was chewing on a plug-in thingie for my husband’s computer this morning before we figured it out…

She LOVES to go outside by herself, but since the poor dog doesn’t have ANYTHING to play with, she has become more and more inventive about finding something to pass the time out there.

Yesterday we decided to get new welcome mats for the front door and the garage door to the house. I put the old ones we were replacing on the floor in the greenhouse where the weed barrier has become torn.

Soon we let Amber out. I went out a few minutes later to find BOTH new welcome mats in the front yard. The one from the front porch had a huge bite out of the top of it. The one we got to scrap our shoes on in the garage was in several pieces.

We put the shock collar on her, got the remote, and agreed that one of us will go out with her on a reasonable schedule. We SHOULD be playing with her and walking around anyway, so it’s just having to own up to our responsibility as owners of a loveable, rambunctious, destructive, energizer bunny type lab puppy.

 

 

 

Happy Father’s Day, Jim

Jim Wheaton

My dad’s left arm was shorter than his right and his hand was curved, almost useless, from a fall from a horse when he was 3. I almost forgot that he might be a bit challenged from time to time. He never talked about it, never brought attention to it. He just lived with it. We saw a panhandler on the street when we were on vacation when I was a child. He walked up to the man, who had an arm just like his. The man asked for money, holding up his arm. My dad simply held up HIS arm and said, “Get a job.”

My dad loved to tell jokes and stories. He loved puns. He loved sarcasm. He survived by humor when he was a child, dealing with kids on the playground, who made fun of his arm. He made them laugh so hard they finally accepted him and quit bullying.

He brought his family to Tulsa, Oklahoma from Chicago/New York/Long Island with a dream of having his own advertising agency. 25 years later, he won a “Lifetime Achievement Award” for his “Unique contribution to the advertising world in Tulsa, OK” shortly before he died, having supported his family and putting two kids through college.

He came to a class when I was going for a Master’s Degree as a Reading Specialist. My talk in that class was teaching children to listen wisely to advertising. My dad was the guest speaker. He was a bit of a celebrity, billing himself as “Tulsa’s 2nd worst radio voice.” His radio spots got people’s attention because they made you listen, sometimes making you laugh. You always remembered the companies lucky enough to hire him. At the end of the class, he said something to the effect – “It’s fun to write advertising commercials. It’s fun to come and talk to you today. But the thing I love the most about today is getting to watch my daughter give a speech. My daughter is Linda Lewis.” You could have heard a pin drop at the surprise  – and then delight  – in the room. They erupted in applause and I cried.

My dad was unique. He was ahead of his time. He wanted my brother and me to call him “Jim” because “dad” kind of embarrassed him. He was an only child and didn’t figure he was that great as a dad. He set an example of honesty, integrity, determination and courage in living his life every day. He said, “Remember me laughing.”

I do, Jim, even with tears in my eyes. Happy Father’s Day.

“He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” ~Clarence Budington Kelland

 

Options Renewed!

Chrissie Anderson Peters

 

Today is our 48th wedding anniversary. We dated for 8 years before we married, so in many ways we think of this as our 56th year together. We hope that – since we have a good start now – we can enjoy MANY more happy years together.

Each year we ask each other if our ‘option’ to share another year is to be renewed. (We don’t take anything for granted.) This morning we agreed that, indeed, we want to spend at LEAST another year together. :0)

I think that many people marry for the wrong reasons. When I married my husband, it was because I wanted to share my LIFE with him, whatever happened, forever.  That’s a huge commitment and it should not be entered into lightly. Sometimes we feel very, very close. Other times I want to wring his neck. We’re two very different people. We don’t agree on many things. We don’t even use the same salt. But love overrides all.

We’ve shared everything for 48 years. We built a family together. We have a son who is smarter, braver, and kinder than both of us put together. We wish we could take credit for the man he is, but the truth is we lucked out.  We created a daughter who was beautiful, but she died of SIDS at two months of age. The hurt and loss never leave, and changed our lives forever. We’ve shared wonderful things, and intense sorrow. We have celebrated the good things together, and have helped each other deal with many tough things. It’s ‘the two of us against the world.’

I have seen many people treat their spouse terribly. Then, when out in public – after fighting with their spouse – they turn on the smiles to everyone else.  I truly believe it should be the opposite. You should treat your spouse with the best you have in you. Concentrate on treating him better than you would treat anyone else. (This doesn’t mean you don’t have disagreements, hurt feelings, anger, etc. After all, you two know each other better than anyone else in the world. You know what buttons to push. Sometimes there are hurt feelings because of the TONE.  Sometimes it’s just a look. When you’re this close to someone, great care should be taken.)

I’ve been trying to ‘train’ my husband for years, to no avail. He quotes somebody as saying, “When a woman marries, she thinks she can change him, and he doesn’t. When a man marries, he hopes she’ll never change, and she does.”

Sharing your life with someone is a priceless gift.  You should give it at least the same care as you would any priceless gift – care, attention, nurturing, patience…..

So, when he jumped over the back fence with a rose in his teeth, he took my breath away. He still does.

 

Werner Bollmann

“30 Minute Rule”

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Be Happy

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Be

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People

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Live Your Life

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Thankful

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One of the GOOD things about getting older is that you learn to live life at a bit slower pace and NOTICE all the good things around you. My husband and I remark from time to time how GOOD our life is. We have our problems, of course, but so much of our life is really great.

• The fact that we have each other – that we truly love each other, rather than just staying put because separating would be difficult. The things we get angry about are very small, annoying things, things that matter little in the long run.
• We’re happy with the life we’ve built together sharing love for over 56 years, and marriage that will be 48 years next month.
• We created a son who is a delightful individual. Smarter, kinder, and more generous than his parents. A GOOD human being with a good head on his shoulders.
• We love our home on top of our ridge line. We see people as often as we like, unless they’re too far away. We have privacy, a nice home, a great view, and a happy lifestyle.
• We can afford to get a new puppy when our hearts have been broken by the loss of a true friend. We’re retired, so we can devote the time needed to try to raise a well-mannered, happy dog from this ‘energizer bunny heavy ball of fluff with teeth and claws we adopted.
• We can grow flowers to lift our spirits whenever we go outside, and a garden to try to grow healthy veggies, PLUS a planned greenhouse to start them in.
• Our health problems remain ‘fixable’ or ‘controllable’ at this point – a blessing, indeed.
• We have friends and relatives who remind us of all the good in the world.

Happy are We!

Change It

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Take that Step

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Take Time

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Time

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Never Stop

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Best Feeling

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Giving

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Always

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Still Paying the Price

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I told you that I sliced my finger instead of the roast beef several days ago. It’s been a challenge trying not to get my bandage wet while cooking, cleaning, washing my hair, showering, etc., so I’m moving (and typing) a bit more slowly than usual. I think it’s healing fine. I think I was right on the borderline for needing stitches, so I’m grateful I could bandage it carefully and protect it from further irritation with vet wrap.

I’ll be very glad when I get to what passes for normal. I’m just using band-aids now, so it doesn’t look as dramatic as it did. This episode is like locking your keys in your car. By the time you get the problem solved, it was so unpleasant that you don’t do it again for another 20 years or so…

Life Lessons – Take 1

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