FUN

Randy Pausch – acolorfuljourney.com

I’ve been having a wonderful time for several weeks now, making Christmas presents for my friends. I got the idea for the theme of the presents several months ago, and ideas have been rattling around in my brain ever since.

I finally ordered the materials I needed and began to play as soon as they arrived. I looked on the net for some reference pictures for some of my ideas, and then began drawing my ideas with pencil. There are two sides to each present and 8 friends, so there was a lot of drawing.

I’ve been painting for about three weeks now, having a truly wonderful time in my art room. I’m not in any hurry. My goal is to make some progress on the project each day, but enjoying every minute of the process. I’m about to finish ‘Side 1″ of the 8 presents.

Making time to have FUN each day is important to your soul, your sense of worth, your outlook. It’s a buffer against whatever challenges with which you are dealing, replenishing strength and resilience you’ll need. A time for JOY gives you peace of mind, if only for a little while each day – a coping mechanism that is priceless.

I used to put time in my art room, time for reading, listening to music, playing in my garden or yard, writing this blog on my to-do list WHEN I COULD MAKE THE TIME – if possible when my work and other obligations are under control. Now I consciously make time to at least ONE of the things I love on a daily basis. I feel stronger, happier, and more alive since I switched my priorities.

NOTE: I have to admit (shhhhh!) I felt guilty when my husband came in for batteries for his remote for the TV this morning and had Amber hair all over the front of his shirt from getting down on the carpet to work in the area under the TV in the entertainment center. Looks like I should make time to vacuum the first floor carpet today…. :0)

The Rule

Sandra Bullock-Deborah Gayle Robinson on Twitter

Mistakes

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MISTAKE ONE: waiting, rather than living in the moment.

I spent much of my life waiting. I met my husband-to-be when I was 14 and he was 17. When he joined the Marines soon after, he took my heart with him. I waited for him to come home on leave. I waited for letters, checked days off the calendar, dated little because my heart was waiting for him to come home. Then we were in different colleges and I waited for breaks from school so we could be together. Then I waited to finish school so we could marry. I cried when we finished the ceremony and my life could finally begin.

Telling myself that I was missing out on a lot of life didn’t make it past the thought running through my head. My heart was set. I avoided complications, getting close to many people, always choosing the path that would get me where I wanted to go the quickest way possible. I wonder how things might have been different if I had made different choices.

Now I live in the moment, wringing every drop of joy I can out of seeing people I love, talking to those I can’t see as much as I would like, taking the time to soak up beautiful things, celebrating the talent surrounding me – LIVING – rather than waiting.

MISTAKE 2: worrying about things over which I have no control.

This is a gut level reaction. I TRY not to do this, realizing how stupid it is. I do pretty well during the day when I can choose my activities, stay busy, etc., but if I wake in the middle of the night, I get swamped pretty easily. I worry about worst case scenarios, causing myself a lot of pain for no good reason. My head tells me to prepare for things the best way I can, see what actually happens, and then deal with it. My inner child wants to live in ignorant bliss, avoiding the bad situations, seeking hugs and someone to solve the problem about which I’m worrying.

I’m doing pretty well on rectifying my first mistake. The 2nd remains a challenge. 99% of the time my “adult” handles things reasonably well, I think. Now I concentrate on the 1% of the time my inner child comes out.

Bogging Down…

victoriacolemanartist.com

I’ve been working steadily all day trying to reach my friends to give them the new email address. Then I started on all the websites that have the old address. What a headache!

One good thing – I’ve talked to people who mean a lot to me today – via the new email and my phone. That’s a good thing despite the frustrating reason for it.

I’m going to take a break, get outside and prune my rose bushes. Then I’ll do another session.

I just LOVE the painting by Victoria Coleman above. It really captures exhaustion well, doesn’t it.

10 Thoughts

The Weight Loss Mindset: 10 Thoughts that Are Keeping You Fat and How Changing Your Mind Can Change Your Body Kindle Edition by Sarah Patterson

I read this book last night. A lot of it I already “knew,” but zeroing in on the mind games I’ve been playing with myself hit me right between the eyes.

This is a well-written book that doesn’t waste your time. It’s straight-forward, explaining the 10 “thoughts,” but not beating you into the ground with them. Two of them in particular grabbed me. I will keep reading this book again until I really SEE how I’m sabotaging myself, kidding myself, and slowing my efforts to be as healthy as I can be.

Another thing I like is that the purpose of this book is to really talk to you – NOT sell you a product. She says straight out that you will get from it as much as you are willing to put into it.

No nonsense. No fooling.

Planning for FUN

Freepik

Managing stress is super-important.

Stress crawls into all your nooks and crannies, wreaking havoc in your mindset, your health, your ability to function. It colors EVERYTHING – painting with a broad brush.

I’ve been having some, due to various things, such as having to have one of our dogs euthanized due to cancer and health issues with my husband. I’ve been aware of it, but have just shoved it down deep, staying busy – rather than actively trying to deal with it. I finally decided to get proactive when my doctor asked how I was and tears sprang up.

Now I am thinking of ways I can help myself. My situation is not going to change. In fact, it will get worse. I’m actively gathering ideas for what I can do to take care of myself so that I will be strong enough to deal with whatever is ahead.

• Value the family members and friends who care. They allow me to vent whenever I need to – I try not to abuse the privilege – but knowing they are there is everything.
• Make a plan for each day, listing ONE thing I would like to accomplish. (Today it is listing my newest earrings on EyecatchingEarrings at Etsy)
• Eat right and exercise daily ( we are on Month #2 of the South Beach diet. DIY dinner tonight – bacon-wrapped chicken breast and salad – now that the main yard cleanup is finished, I’ll go back to my elliptical trainer and yoga)
• Dive into a good book daily – I’m enjoying the Rise of the Iliri series by Auryn Hadley. I’m on book # 6 now.
• Spend time in my art room – Even if it’s just messing around, something usually grabs me. I play some of my favorite music while I’m up there, making it a double-escape, creative time.
• Work in my garden or flower planters. Right now we’re having a bit cooler temperatures with lower humidity, so it’s lovely outside.
• Listen to music. I either arrange a mini-concert of some of my favorites via YouTube, or spread out in my recliner and plug myself into my MP3 player.
• Actively plan for FUN daily – something that brings me pleasure – for the moment or longer term.

AND, as I do these things, my problems lessen – allowing me to get a better perspective and be thankful for all I have.

I hope that YOU can plan for some FUN in YOUR day, too!

Learning Lessons

Leading Learning

I am learning the hard way that I need to pay attention to the ORDER of my activities to get some control of the civilized part of our yard.  As I type, I’m TRYING not to scratch all the chigger bites I gathered yesterday while trying to clear a path on the north side of our shop. It was totally overgrown, so I had sprayed it pretty heavily a couple of times with weed killer previously. It hadn’t done the job, so I got serious yesterday.

I got a path cleared, but learned-

1. to spritz on Ben’s Tick and Insect Repellent before heading outside. We just got this. It got really high ratings from Consumer’s Reports.  It says it is the “wilderness formula” 30% Deet, and repels mosquitoes that may carry the Zika virus. At any given time we are outside, my husband is unaware of bugs. I come back in with bites all over. I will TRY to get in the habit of spritzing this on before I even think of going outside.

 

2) I will then mix up bug spray (We use Eight – great on killing bugs, but doesn’t harm plants or our animals) in our 2-gallon container and spray it over the areas I will try to weed whack in.

 

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3) After I have sprayed the bug killer thoroughly, I will weed whack, getting everything cleared out.

 

4) Then I will spray the weed killer (we use KillzAll) again, hosing down the area.

5) Then I will spray again with bug killer.

 

I’m HOPING that if I build this habit, I won’t end up looking like someone chewed on by zombies with my usually sunny disposition marred by trying really hard not to scratch….

 

Progress

Jeff Jett

This – on the last day of September – is DAY 28 of my daily yoga practice. My face doesn’t look nearly as blissful as this sweet lion’s face, but I AM making progress. It’s exciting to finally feel my body ‘give’ as I breathe, moving closer to the goal. Each time I start with stiff, sore parts from one end to the other. After I finish, though, I feel much looser.

This is DAY 13 of my ‘getting-serious-about-keto’ eating. I am using a carb tracking site called Cronometer.com. I filled out a short form to find out what MY macros (percentages of fat, protein and carbs) should be for the day.

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I had no trouble eating protein – in fact, I discovered I was eating way TOO much protein. I was staying under the 5% carbs easily, but nothing was happening. I discovered I wasn’t eating enough fat! My son helped me figure out good ways to add healthy fat to my diet. I can put a tablespoon of heavy whipping cream in my coffee, for example. I got some avocados. They are good for you and high in fat. I don’t really LIKE them, but I can eat one a day.  I can eat macadamia nuts. I can put a tablespoon of olive oil in my salad…

As I plan for the day, I can ‘test’ what I would like to eat and see graphically what it does for my macros for the day. Yesterday I did well on fat by eating an avocado and having the cream in my coffee for breakfast. The macro showed me I needed to concentrate on protein the rest of the day. The carbs took care of themselves.

I’ve now lost a bit over 6 pounds this month. That’s slow, but it’s better than I HAD been doing, and the weight loss is mainly in the past 12 days of watching my macros. I’m hopeful that October will continue to show good improvement. I would like for there to be 30 pounds or so less of me one day.

I’ve told you I’m also adding 3 days a week on my elliptical trainer. It is in the garage and the temperature is FINALLY cooling off so that I can use it out there without getting heat stroke. :0)

Motivation:

• This has always been hard for me. Our son is really encouraging. He’s leaving soon, though, so I need to buck up and find good things even though he won’t be here. My husband asks me if I’m going to ‘yoge,’ and occasionally tells me he’s proud of me trying to exercise. He says he is ‘with me in spirit.” :0)  I have the wonderful book by Suzanne Ryan, Simply Keto which has provided us with several recipes we like so much they keep me busy cooking without trying more. To have my husband REQUEST meals is the ultimate compliment.
• GOLD STARS on my desk calendar. SILLY, I know, but it works for me. Right now I have the opportunity to earn 10 for this week (7 for yoga, 3 for elliptical).
• Scales – I KNOW that the experts tell you to only weigh once a week. I do it once a day, not expecting to see great things, but to remind myself that I need to watch what I’m eating and keep moving in order to get the lard off.
• Measuring Tape – Every once in a while I’ll get a nice surprise. I figure the measuring tape is objective and will give me an honest answer as to whether things are going in the right direction.
• Fit of my clothes – I’m tired of shopping where I’m hoping that they have clothes that are large enough for me. I have come down several sizes in jeans, and it feels really good to give them to someone else who will be grateful that a pair of jeans will be large enough.

TO DATE –

I have lost 43 pounds since my lardiest  and there are 45 inches less of me than at my lardiest.

I look forward to the day when I am at a healthy weight for my height (I’ve given up trying to get taller), my BMI makes insurance companies sing with joy, I can buy clothes most anywhere I can afford, and I FEEL good. I want to be able to do a lot of things easily that now are off limits because of pain, stiffness, soreness, or fatigue. I don’t picture myself climbing mountains, but a good long walk with friends or one of my dogs would be nice!

 

Therapy

Bruderhof Communities

Playing in my art room is therapy for me. An escape from anything that is bothering me. A way to work out feelings. A joy in experimentation.

We converted a third bedroom into my art room several years ago. I helped my husband put up extra shelves all the way across one wall. We got extra stand-alone shelves and a drafting table advertised in the newspaper. We put up a few more shelves on another wall. I converted the closet into a supplies area. We put up another large table that is as long as one wall.  There is a ceiling fan from which I hung a cute mobile of merry-go-round horses.

Years ago my husband and son got together to give me a present of a lot of my favorite songs on CDs. I have a player up there, so I can fill the room with glorious music – some of which I danced to as a teenager a hundred years or so ago – and lose myself in the world of music and paint.

The only limitations is my imagination and my ability to make my visions come out on whatever I’m trying to paint. Lately I’ve been having ideas for tees on which I have spots that won’t come out in the wash. Since I’m a slob, I seem to have a never-ending supply of tees that can use a face lift.

Yesterday I finished another.

 

Lately I am trying to do things each day that make me stronger.  I’m getting back into exercising, monitoring what I eat more carefully, working in my flowers when the weather isn’t lethal, playing in my art room, spending time with our son, walking outside several times a day, and reading.

The result of all this is hopefully a stronger, happier, calmer me. I don’t have to be able to leap over tall buildings in a single bound, but being able to handle whatever comes as well as possible would be good.  I am in DAY 4 today. So far, so good!

Patting Myself on the Head – Just a Bit

LessonPix

I’ve been a good girl today, doing some of the things I hate most – balancing checkbooks, filing, and tax prep for 2019.

I have the equivalent of a doctorate – plus in the fine art of procrastination. For years I have paid for it and the end of the year/beginning of the next year – being buried in receipts. I HATE tax prep and my husband calmly washed his hands of it years ago. He does bring me cups of coffee every once in a while, as encouragement, but that’s as involved as he gets.

When I finally could dump all of the organized receipts for 2018 on our wonderful CPA, I promised myself I would do things differently from now on. (Truth be told, I promise myself a LOT of things, only to procrastinate until the promises become meaningless.)

This year, though, I’m happy to tell you I have just finished

• balancing our checkbooks
• filing (I can see my desk!) – AND
• converting receipts of all types for the month of March into the spreadsheets for taxes for 2019 I started at the beginning of the year.

Instead of cramming all the monthly receipts into monthly folders and then trying to make sense of things at the end of the year, I am going through the monthly receipts, listing things on the proper spreadsheet, then putting the receipts into a folder labeled for that deduction. No monthly folder anymore once the month is over. This way, at the end of the year I can simply total each category on the various spreadsheets, print them, list the information on the tax form booklet our CPA provides, already having the receipts ready to take!

I have officially finished 1/4 of 2019 now – can you see my grin?

Something You Might Consider Doing

i65

I created a document for our son that answers questions such as, “What should I do about…?” and “Where is the….”

In this document I list financial stuff, insurance information, loans status and sources, contact information for important people, and more.

We all know there are no guarantees in life. No one knows how long he or she will live. I’ve tried to picture our son trying to deal with things if

• I die, or my husband dies, and the remaining person needs help dealing with things
• My husband and I die together and our son is left with the house, cars, and STUFF

We have taken advantage of the expertise of our lawyer, our CPA, and spelled out what we want done as far as burial arrangements, made suggestions as to what to do with the stuff our son doesn’t want, and mainly tried to answer “where is the” with lists of what is in our safe deposit box and other secure places.

_______________

We update the document every six months. (I procrastinate, thinking not much has changed – but each time I do it, I’m surprised how out-of-date much of the information is!  We have tried to handle things as much as possible so that our son can do things from across the world, if needed, or he can get to everything he needs if he comes home. We probably haven’t thought of everything, but we try to rethink things twice a year, as if we were looking at the problem with fresh eyes.

We think it’s a very important way we can help the remaining spouse or our son take care of things as easily as possible.

It’s never too early to plan for when you’re not here anymore. We think it’s a good way to show our love.

This Week’s “Flex” Lunch/Dinner

Buzz Feed

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that my husband and I are on NutriSystem, trying to get the lard off. Since we were on it the first time, many years ago, they’ve added lots more food choices, plus frozen foods, plus a new emphasis on making this a lifestyle change, rather than a ‘diet.’ They are including ‘flex’ meals, one breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack each week to help you learn to function in the real world.

By trial and error, mostly (on our part) we’re learning to –

1. ask for a doggie bag when we order our food. I am putting half of the meal in it, and my husband is adding part of his meal to the bag.
2. modify our eating the rest of the day to make up for the larger calorie real world meal so that it fits into our plan, not blowing our efforts out of the water. (For example, since we ate our big ‘lunch’ today, we’ll have a salad for dinner if we’re hungry. If not so hungry, we’ll be satisfied with a snack. (We’ll eat more of what we brought home tomorrow.)
3. we got combo seafood dinners at The Dari, today. We learned that next time, we can order ONE dinner, split it between the two of us, and still maybe bring some home.

Eating out takes the curse off of dieting for us. We’re happy enough with the Nutrisystem meals, but since we can eat out, we don’t feel deprived. If we want to share a meal with friends, they don’t even have to know we’re dieting. Eating a real-world meal is a quality of life thing, making it much more reasonable for us to stay on Nutrisystem until we both meet our goals.

We’re also learning how to modify our cooking so that we are building healthy eating habits with a much better sense of what a ‘portion’ is.

I DID It!

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I FINALLY  reached 30 pounds off in my efforts to get the lard off!  I went on chat on the Nutrisystem website, since I hadn’t received any notification or ‘reward’ redemption thingie in my email, and the kind lady said she would make sure my 30# off bear was included in my next order. :0)

To date:  30.6 lbs off. 28.5 inches off.  I think I’m about half way to my goal now, but I’ll see how I feel when I get there. My progress has been slow, but steady, so I’m happy that I can definitely see progress since April.

I still have to talk to myself about exercising, having a LOT of interests that involve sitting – computer stuff, like my blog, reading, working in my art room, etc. When the weather is good, though, I’m outside at least once a day, working in the greenhouse, weeding, or hacking something down, killing ants, and more.

I’m doing better since I decided to do my yoga stretches and exercises one day and my elliptical trainer the next, rather than trying to get both into one day. I’m a bit embarrassed to tell you that I bought sheets of gold stars – putting one on the calendar each day I do one or the other. Stupid – but it works for me. I say, “If it works, run it.” :0)

I’m especially happy that I lost weight this week. We splurged a lot this week, eating fried fish dinners at the grocery deli once, and eating breakfast out twice this week due to a botched attempt to get a blood test yesterday and a successful attempt today. Tomorrow is Lunch Bunch, and we’ll get chicken ‘thingies.’

The thing we’re learning is how to modify our eating the rest of the day when we eat out one meal in the real world. We’re still following the eating plan, but modifying our choices so that we stay on track better as far as calories for the day.  I have also found that, since we’re eating out more often, I don’t tend to get into the “YIPPEE!” mentality, where I eat completely bad choices like ‘this-is-the-last-time-I’ll-get-to-splurge,’ eating for 6 and feeling remorse later.  If it’s reasonable, I eat half and bring the other half home to eat some other time. I’m making better choices, such as a veggie omelette today, with no sides.

Slowly, we’re making this eating plan more ours. A life plan, rather than a way of eating for some specified period of time. I’m not feeling as tied to the program, panicking when we get off for any reason. I’m starting to cook more, bit by bit, though we ARE enjoying lots of raw veggies and salads now than ever, and my husband lives for his ‘grapes-and-nuts’ snacks.

 

Still Riding on a High

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My husband and I are just starting to be able to acknowledge and enjoy the fact that there is less of us than there used to be. I’ve lost almost 30 pounds and almost 28 inches now. It’s only about half way to my goal, and to be honest, other than going down a size or two in jeans, I haven’t seen much difference in clothes.

This changed, finally, with my cleaning-out-the-closet project, switching warm weather stuff for cool the past several days. I forced myself to try on everything I had moved to my closet, finding a really full leaf bag full of tops that were too large. Not just really roomy, but falling-off-the-shoulders and exposing-my-whole-front type too large. :0)   I showed you some pics recently of the sweater/jacket I am finally able to wear after several years of moving it back and forth, always way too small, and now it FITS.

I’ve seen a change in my husband, too. Not only can I see a difference looking at him, I’ve noticed that he’s taking more interest in his clothes now. He just ordered some new jeans, asking me to measure him to be surer of the size. (We’re in a mystery area right now. We KNOW we’re smaller, but tend to still order as we did when we were larger. Even though I tried to use the charts provided at an online store, I found the clothes were too large when they arrived.)

Anyway, he’s wearing some new shirts, some brighter colors, and tries to think about which of his flannel shirts he’s wearing over the tee underneath, where it was haphazard, at best, before. I’ve been complimenting him, and it’s delightful to watch him try not to show how pleased he is. Now I’m working on encouraging his efforts to do some exercise…

We’re both trying to change our eating habits. When my husband finally got serious about giving up sugar to try to get a handle on his Type II diabetes, I gave up salt. I didn’t just add salt to almost everything, I even added salt to salty things. We figure that losing the weight and getting healthier is a good trade for our former addictions.

One new addition – we’ve been having a salad nightly, along with our Nutrisystem entree. My husband has been enjoying this, and was even pleased that I’m adding cherry tomatoes to it. When I added a touch of chopped walnuts to the mix (thanks, Mary Lou) he liked THAT, too. I’m adding a few garbanzo beans to my salad, and my husband still nixes that, but he says he looks forward to our salads in the evening.

We’re still working on portion control. This is a really alien concept, since the two of us apparently have routinely been eating for ourselves and several other folks at each meal. Now we’re learning to have ONE portion of something with a side of veggies or salad. I told you yesterday that I was learning to divide my meal from a restaurant in half, bringing half home to eat some other time. It’s a process, but one we’ll build with exercise.

By the way, I FINISHED the closet-clean-out project yesterday, organizing the warm weather stuff in the guest room closet so it’s ready to move easily next time. Hopefully, by the time we’re ready for warm/hot weather stuff NEXT time, I’ll be able to fill another leaf bag!!!

I’m Learning!

Chicago Tribune

After we had run most of our errands this afternoon, we stopped at The Dari for lunch. Last time, I ate like a pig, doing everything except lick my plate because it all tasted so good.

THIS TIME, I thanked the waitress for bringing my plate, and asked if she would bring me a doggie bag. She asked, “Large or small?” I said, “Large, please.” She brought it right out. Before I touched a bite of anything on my plate, I divided each thing in half, putting one half of my meal into the doggie bag. THEN I cleaned the plate.

I don’t feel stuffed now. I didn’t exceed my quota for lunch calories. I don’t have to feel guilty. The doggie bag goodies are now in a freezer-safe container marked with my initials + ‘dinner’ for another day.

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