55 Years

In 1961 we fell in love. In 1969 we made it official. Today we celebrate 55 years of sharing our lives. I just got off of an online chat with our son, our greatest achievement. He is such an interesting man with a challenging, full life, doing what he wants to do. There are simply no words to describe how happy I am for him.

It’s hard enough to imagine that I could be ’55 years old,’ much less that we have been MARRIED for 55 years now.

Atticus Poetry, Love her Wild

As any real person knows, marriage is one of the hardest things there is. You make a commitment with stars in your eyes and then real life begins. I think one of the reasons that there are so many failed marriages is that people go into it thinking it will be all stars and moonbeams. It isn’t about the other person making you ‘happy.’ It’s about sharing lives. Sometimes your heart melts. Sometimes the guy with the bulldozer who will dig a hole in the backyard for your significant other can’t come fast enough. That’s real.

My personal commitment includes making it a point to keep falling in love over and over – if I don’t have the bulldozer guy on speed dial – realizing how much we’ve shared over the past 55 years. I was pregnant 5 times. We had two live children, a boy and a girl, and lost our girl to SIDS when she was 2 months old. We both bust our buttons with pride at the man our son has become, creative, confident, caring – carving out a wonderful, satisfying life. We share both sad and beautiful memories that will always be with us.

sayingimages.com

As we age, our life becomes looking to see the humor in situations, a day-to-day overcoming of obstacles, enjoying the beautiful things around us, spending time doing fun things together, enjoying the peace and quiet of being alone (even if it’s just in another room or out in the yard) – striving not to kill the other because of annoyance and frustration. Sharing lives is not for sissies. It means another person knows exactly what buttons to push to get you to react the most strongly. The ones you love can also hurt you the most, make you grind your teeth, cry, maybe even scream, and wonder why you stay – then say or do something to melt your heart again.

I love this quote on marriage by Nora Roberts in Blood Brothers – “Learn to laugh, otherwise, you’ll beat them to death with a hammer first chance.”

My husband said this morning, “We have a good start now.”